Jasper and the PMS
by XxXMrs.JasperHaleXxX
Summary: All vampires and Bella's still human. How Jasper deals with the PMSing girls in his school. In both Alice and Jasper's POV. Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Ok so this is my first fan fiction and I'm writing this with my friend so the style of writing may seem different during the chapter. We pass the book that we're writing in back and forth so that's why. Well that's it for now. Don't forget to review!**

**Alice's P.O.V.**

"Oh Jasper!" I called in my sing-songy voice as I walked into Jasper's room. Jasper was sitting on his bed with the usual look of pain on his face, but there was also a look of dread. "What's wrong?"

Jasper sighed than stood up. "How many girls attend our school?"

"A lot. Why?" I replied, confused.

"Do you know how many girls there have PMS?" He asked angrily.

I started to laugh, "Oh poor Jasper, need some Midol?"

"It's _not_ funny Alice." He said with a stern look.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, skipping over to him, "but it was kind of a random question jazz." I wrapped my arms around his waist, only because I couldn't reach any higher, and as usual his usual look of pain disappeared, as did his anger. "It's time to leave for school. You'll have a good day, not that many girls are PMSing!" I laughed and ran to the garage, Jasper right beside mw unusually smiling.

"Hey Rosalie, Emmett." Jasper greeted them.

"Hey Alice-" Emmett started but I interrupted him.

"Next Wednesday, if the weather holds, but some things are blurry, we might not be able to play ball."

"Where's Edward? His car's missing?" Asked Emmett.

Where do you think," Rosalie spat, "picking up that human girl Bella."

"Oh come on Rose," Emmett said to her, "she's really not that bad. Actually, I find her quite entertaining, with her clumsiness and all." WE all laughed except Rosalie.

"Yea well, we're going to be late, come on." Rose said to us. She and Emmett got in her BMW and Jasper and I got in my Porsche.

When we got to school Edward's car was there, but so was Bella's. He didn't pick her up.

"Alice, what's going on? Where's Edward?" Rosalie asked. I concentrated and looked into Edward's future, and sighed.

"Edward is contemplating going to Alaska again. Don't worry though. He's going to choose not to go." I answered serenely. "In fact he's going to be here in about 5, 4, 3, 2…"

"Hey you guys!" it was Edward. I was right, like always.

"Edward where were you?" asked Rosalie angrily. A vision flashed in my mind of Rosalie starting a physical fight with Edward because of his answer.

"Watching Bella in her room." was his answer.

"Now Rosalie killing Edward would be worse than Edward and Bella's relationship ending badly." I said calmly knowing she would stalk off and calm down. And she did.

"So Jasper, how's your PMS?" asked Edward. Jasper must be thinking this, for I had not and Emmett didn't know. We all laughed while Jasper scowled.

"Ha! Ha!" Emmett laughed, "Jasper has PMS!" He started laughing even harder earning us looks form kids walking by. "that's the funniest thing I've ever heard," he said while laughing.

"Shut-up Emmett." Jazz said sounding quite scary. "Let's go Alice," he said to me, "_before_ we're late for homeroom."

"Uuummm, okay. But one: Em's in our homeroom, and two: we're going to be late. The bell doesn't ring for another ten minutes." Jazz looked down at me with a pleading look, yet slightly angry look. "Well it does," I said looking up at him, "but we could always leave now, to ya know get a head start?" He nodded, grabbed my hand and started, at a human pace, walking towards the school pulling me along.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Jasper's P.O.V.**

As Alice and I got closer to the school, about 50 or more emotions hit me all at once. There was anger, happiness, depression, normal sadness, love, and a good handful of crazy hormones. There were a few that really hit me though. And I noticed them right away. It was PMS. Now you might think that I only get the crazy hormones and mood swings from these girls, but that's not the case. Every so often someone has a _very_ bad cramp, backache, or migraine and _that's_ what hits me. But like I said, it's not too often that it does. Anyway, as this girl entered the building, I got the worst pain _ever_ in my lower stomach. Instinctively I let go of Alice's hand to put my own on my stomach. I stopped dead in my tracks and moaned in pain. Alice stopped too and turned to look at me.

"Jazzy", She asked walking over to me, "are you ok?" A bunch of people were staring at us, well more than they usually did. And the confusion I got from every single one of them did not help me at all. Of course, I'm pretty sure that seeing a 17-year-old guy standing the middle of a school hallway , holding his lower stomach looked pretty unusual to a human at least.

"Jazz", Alice said to me again.

"Yea", I answered, pain obvious in my voice.

"What's wrong?"

"Period cramps", I answered so soft that no human could hear it, even if they were right next to us.

"Oh", She said, I could tell she was trying not to laugh. "That girl over there has some extra strength Midol, but I'm not it will work on a vampire."

I composed myself and started for our first class, Anatomy. It really isn't funny that I get PMS, it sucks really bad. GGGRRR, that girl is in my class. It's hard to concentrate in class with PMS, even for a vampire.

"Alice", I said in a low whisper and in vampire speed, "I'm worried about Edward."

"Jazz, don't. This is the first time Edward has found someone. He has never felt this way toward anyone. And I have a feeling that this will not end badly." Alice answered.

I trust her but, when I feel what he's feeling it's different, it's like he's addicted to her.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N-I'm really sorry that's it's been a while sinceI've updated but I had Mid-terms last week and studying the week before and you all know how that is. I promise I will try to post the next chapter a.s.a.p. I think that's it. Don't forget to review! **

**Alice's P.O.V.**

Jazz and I split up for the one class that we didn't have together. I had art and Jazz had show choir rehearsal.

Today in art I was working at a pottery wheel and after about ten minutes I had a vision. Jasper was dancing around in this room with a gold sequined dress on.

"Alice," said a voice in the distance, "Um, Alice. Your…uh…Alice. Earth to Alice."

"Yes?" I asked after my strange vision was over.

"The wheel." said Kristen Hill. I looked down at the wheel and my clay was all over the place. Whoops!

**Jasper's P.O.V.**

I have to do what?! No! There is no way in HELL that I'm doing what my teacher is saying! It's just not happening. Not only do I get PMS, which Emmett is _still_ laughing about, I have to wear a dress too! God! If Em and Edward, mostly Emmett, find out about this I'll never live it down. NO matter how many centuries I live. I swear my teacher is freakin' crazy.

"Okay. So now that you all have your costumes go into the dressing rooms and change so we can rehearse in then a few times," Miss Gina, my shoe choir teacher, said to us. There was a bunch of excited squeals as the three girls jumped up to go change.

"Umm, Miss Gina?" I asked.

"Yes Jasper," she said turning to me.

"Do we," I pointed to me and about six other guys, "really have to wear these dresses?"

"And the wigs?" This kid next to me asked. I think his name is Jeremy.

"Yes," Miss Gina answered sighing, "you do. For once we have more guys than girls in show choir. There are only three girls and there are seventeen guys. Something that's never happened before. And we need an even amount of guys and girls. I make the seven of you dress like girls and we have ten and ten. Does that make sense?"

"Yes," I said, "but just because we look like girls, with the dresses, the make-up, and the wigs, won't we still have our deep guy voices?"

"I know that and we'll work on it. Now go change!" I looked at the short, but not too short, gold with gold sequins, dress in my hands and sighed walking to the guys dressing room.

The dress was a low v-neck that on girls, show some or a lot, depending on the size of their boobs, cleavage. And it went around my neck, I think Alice calls these halter tops? I'm not sure. Anyways, it looked great on the three girls, but on me and the other guys? Well, we just looked like badly dresses and have no idea what we're doing, drag queens. We didn't even have the make-up or wigs on yet. Which Miss Gina just gave us, the wigs I mean. We had to put this net thing over our hair then put the wig on. Wow! Alice is right; it _is_ hard being a girl.

When we went back to the stage the girls started laughing and the guys started making wolf-whistles. Ha! I wonder if Jacob was there. Anyways, as I got tin my spot for the first song Miss Gina came up to me with a pair of shoes that Alice would wear! They and to be at least three inches and they were gold and strap-y looking.

"What are those?!" I asked her.

"Your new dancing shoes. Put them on," she handed them to me, "If you need help ask Meghan. Oh and the seven of you guys will either have to shave your legs or wear nylons. Your choice!"

"WHAT!!?" we yelled in unison.

"Yep and shave your armpits too." she smiled at us. _Bitch, _I thought to myself, _What is she trying do? turn us into drag queens? _Not that I have anything against them. It's just that I'm 110% straight **AND **married.

As I sat down o put my doom shoes on all the other guys started laughing so hard I thought they were going to die. I stood up, only off balance a little, thank you vampire skills, and got in my spot. the others did the same.

"O.K.!" Miss Gina said, "Music is on!" and she pressed the play button on the radio. A few seconds later the beginning of "Your Momma Don't Dance and Your Daddy Don't Rock n' Roll" started. This should be interesting.

This really isn't that bad, I mean I've stumbled a few times, lost my footing, lost my timing, and my wig fell in my eyes so I almost fell off the stage, but other than that just fine. I just hope that no one I know, Emmett, can see me. But with my luck today they probably will.

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End file.
